Lockout

The Big Man wasn’t having a good day. I wanted to rename him Lockout. It was so funny I couldn’t stop laughing. I don’t know what was with him today. He was just having a bad day I guess. There was a funny instance too. We were at the PX while he was getting some lenses for his shades. I had passed this bottle of cologne, Eternity for men. It was a tester so I figured I’d try it out. Anyway, I sprayed some of the stuff on then catch up with him at the register. He checked out and we headed outside. “Damn! One of those girls smelled good in there!” He said. I started cracking up. “That was me Bro! Damn, do I smell that good?” I replied. He thought it was one of the girls in the PX. “Dang. I hoped this stuff would work but I think I’m attracting the wrong type of crowd!” We were laughing all the way to the Humvee.

When we got there he was like, “Oh shit! I think I left my keys in the Humvee!” “Oh no you didn’t!” I said. We had already come from chow and I was dying to hit the latrine. He looked in his pockets and didn’t find his keys. We peered inside the driver’s window and sure enough, there they were. Sitting right next to the transfer. Great! I almost felt like walking back to the trailers but hesitated. I really had to go. He set his NA beer that he bought at the PX on top of the Humvee. He was going to go into the Bazaar to buy some bolt cutters. He was going to cut the lock off.

So I waited until he came with some bolt cutters in hand and a smile on his face. I was hoping it would work. The bolt cutters were so cheap I was afraid he was going to break them before he got the lock broke. He did happen to get it at the Bazaar and things there aren’t made with great quality. Fortunately we broke the lock. We got inside and I reached for the keys to unlock the passenger side. On the way over I told him, “Don’t forget about your beer on the roof.” I’m sure he heard me.

I got out and went around the Humvee to his side when we got back to the trailers. There it was, sitting on top, the six-pack of NA beer he just bought at the PX. “Oh man! Did you get your beer?” I wanted to psych him out since he left it up top. I couldn’t believe it didn’t fall off. He knew he left it up there. He forgot all about it. He started to get worried until he got out and looked. There it was. Luckily, it didn’t fall off. It wasn’t his day.

It didn’t end there. It started raining on the way to our staging point. I was a little upset about it. I was hoping that it didn’t rain, not much anyway. Well maybe just enough to bury the dust and keep it down for a couple of days. We got to our staging area when The Big Man told me what happened. “Guess what man? I slipped and fell on the hood.” I asked if he was ok. I didn’t find it funny. Any fall is serious business. I felt sorry for him and told him that it was definitely not his day.

I mentioned earlier when we were locked out that he should take the rest of the day off. We were joking around of course. I told him that I was going to talk to his team leader and suggest it. I was going to tell him, “You know, I don’t think he’s doing too well. I think he needs to take the rest of the day off before something else happens.”